Johnsons Salty Grifballs (also known as The Salty Sensations) was created in May 2008 by YodaMagicCircus and TOS Macca. To date they have competed in the UK Grifball Summer League 2008, the Sarge's Memorial Cup, UK Grifball Autumn League 2008 and are currently set to compete in the UK Grifball Winter League 2009 and the Johnson's Memorial Cup.
Johnsons Salty Grifballs was created by YodaMagicCircus in May 2008. Originally, the team consisted of 5 players that all knew each other and all went to the same school. YodaMagicCircus and TOS Macca, the two main players in JSG at that time, were and obviously still are brothers. The teams main tank was NeTTOs Wookie, the best friend of YodaMagicCircus. KnuXles and pabloscamel were good friends of TOS Macca and so were excepted into the team.
Johnsons Salty Grifballs were placed in Division 5 of the 25 team Grifball league, split into legacy and rookie divisions. Other opponents in Division 5 included Team Slash and Smash, What Time Is It?, The Slighty Better Played Gentlemen and Desert Rat Force. Before the season began, YodaMagicCircus said his team would be aiming for second place at best.
Division 5 was the strangest league. Before they had yet to play a game, Desert Rat Force and The Slighty Better Played Gentlemen forefitted the league. This left 3 teams. At the end of the season, after forefitting there last games, What Time Is It? were also disqualified from the league for playing players they shouldn't have. Johnsons Salty Grifballs finished top of the division, winning all of there games. In all, Johnsons Salty Grifballs played 3 matches :-
- Johnsons Salty Grifballs vs. Team Slash and Smash, 6-3
- What Time Is It? vs. Johnsons Salty Grifballs, 3-6
After finishing top of Division 5, Johnsons Salty Grifballs went to the playoffs. As they were a rookie team, they would have to beat another rookie team to book a place in the quarter finals. Johnsons Salty Grifballs took on the Division 3 Runner Up, Grif-Sport Elite and won 6-3.
Johnsons Salty Grifballs then commenced into the next stage and were placed against Division 2 winners, The Great British Grifballers. Johnsons Salty Grifballs were overwhelmed and lost 7-2 to the eventual team who would come runner-up in the competition, behind Chupathingy.
The team went through some major changes during the league. 3 new players were signed up to join the team while 2 of the original players were removed from the team. New players were :-
- Lightning Eater
Players removed from the team were :-
Johnsons Salty Grifballs were one of the 16 team that joined the Sarge's Memorial Cup Competition, run by Strangler 999 and Gibbley Giblets. JSG were placed into the Sarge Division with Sarge's Angels, Grifball Addicts Anomynous and Epic Fail.
The group stages of the Sarge's Memorial Cup are now over with Johnsons Salty Grifballs finishing in 1st place in the Sarge Division. They then defeated Smiley Pickle Pirates in the quarter finals. Johnsons Salty Grifballs then went on to defeat semi-final opponents The Angry Saints to get themselves a place in the SMC final against The Fumble Faction were JSG got a fluke with The Fumble Faction only getting 3 players together and managed to get themselves a win and win the Sarge's Memorial Cup. There full results are below.
- Johnsons Salty Grifballs vs. Epic Fail, 7-2
- Johnsons Salty Grifballs vs. Sarge's Angels, 3-6
- Grifball Addicts Anomynous vs. Johnsons Salty Grifballs, 2-7
- Johnsons Salty Grifballs vs. Grifball Addicts Anomynous, 8-1
- Sarge's Angels vs. Johnsons Salty Grifballs, 3-6
- Johnsons Salty Grifballs vs. Smiley Pickle Pirates, 8-1
- Johnsons Salty Grifballs vs. The Angry Saints, 8-1
- Johnsons Salty Grifballs vs. The Fumble Faction, 5-4
For more information on The Sarge Memorial cup please visit 
The team was once against subject to lots of change during and before the SMC. Three new players were added to the team while two others were removed from the roster. The new players are :-
- Strangler 999
- JSG HEADTIME
Players that were removed from the team are :-
- Lighting Eater
- Icemare13 (Moved to JSSG)
Players that left the team are :-
- NeTTOs Wookie
- DANNY SUCKS
JSG are currently competing in the UKGBAL08 and have been placed in Division 1. Also in there division is :-
If you include Grifballs of Steel as being fr33style midgets just without there old captain, Johnson's Salty Grifballs are the only rookie team to move from the rookie division to the legacy division.
They have not started there conquest off well though. They lost there first game 5-4 to Grifballs of Steel. YodaMagicCircus said that this was the closest they came to ever beating there rivals and the first time both teams were equally matched, once again showing how much Johnsons Salty Grifballs have improved and that they still are and next season, they might be real contenders.
In there, next game it was Johnsons Salty Grifballs vs. Sarge's Angels. Sarge's Angels and JSG were 1-1 when Strangler 999 lagged out of the game. After Strangler 999 couldn't rejoin and Sarge's Angels scored 3 more when Strangler was absent from the game and refused to allow for a rematch, JSG left and demanded a rematch. The rematch took place and Johnsons Salty Grifballs managed to win by a score of 9-0 and moved into third in the division, taking over Sarge's Angels. This was a very controversial moment in the season. For more information, please go to the JSG-SA Controversy.
JSG next game was against The Fumble Faction. JSG had only one win against TFF, and they were only using 3 players at the time. JSG did not go in confident, knowing how good of a team The Fumble Faction were. In the end, after a closely fought game and an incredibly intense match, Johnsons Salty Grifballs managed to pull off a 5-4 win with YodaMagicCircus scoring the opener and Strangler 999 scoring there over 4. It was the best win for JSG to date,
JSG then had a very controversial game against Grifballs of Steel in which the game was filled with lag for both sides and GBOS won 9-0. JSG appealed for a rematch so they had a chance of having a fair game where both teams could play but there appeal was denied by commissioner xilv and they had to accept there loss.
They then took on Chupathingy with the returning Gingerlink and mike of doom360. JSG played very badly but they still managed to pull off a 6-3 win over the opponents.
They then took on Sarge's Angels for game 2. JSG dominated game 1 but had to replay the match after Sarge's Angels asked them too after one of there players controllers kept disconnecting. The rematch went the same with JSG winning with a score of 6-3. Strangler999 lagged out in round 9 and meant the game became invalid due to the Grifball rules so game 1 was used instead.
JSG's final game was against The Fumble Faction and it was the fight for second place. The Fumble Faction were strong and powered through with hammers as JSG had to rely on there sword play to keep TFF back and stop them cold. Yet, TFF came out supreme with a 7-2 win but JSG, finishing 3rd in there division still picked up a wild card place into the playoffs.
JSG took on The Elite Spartans in the quarter finals of the playoffs. JSG gave a strong performance with lots of teamwork and managed to win 8-1.
They then took on The Fumble Faction in the semi-finals. After a hard thought game with shocks and fantastic displays of skills from both teams, TFF came out as narrow 5-4 winners, meaning that JSG hadn't made it to the final.
A summary of all Johnsons Salty Grifballs results in the UKGBAL08 can be found below :-
- Johnsons Salty Grifballs vs. Grifballs of Steel (5-4)
- Sarge's Angels vs. Johnsons Salty Grifballs (0-9)
- The Fumble Faction vs. Johnsons Salty Grifballs (4-5)
- Johnsons Salty Grifballs vs. Grifballs of Steel (0-9)
- Chupathingy vs. Johnsons Salty Grifballs (3-6)
- Sarge's Angels vs. Johnsons Salty Grifballs (3-6)
- The Fumble Faction vs. Johnsons Salty Grifballs (7-2)
- Johnsons Salty Grifballs vs. The Elite Spartans (8-1)
- Johnsons Salty Grifballs vs. The Fumble Faction (4-5)
Currently, JSG have acquired two new player since the UKGBAL08 began. These players are :-
- Strangler 666
One player left the JSG roster during the UKGBAL08. This player was :-
- Strangler666 (Moved to JSSG)
JSG have so far took in three bum-rushes, one small tournament and are competing in two more at the moment.
The WHRROD Competition was a 6 team league that JSG entered. They were paired in red division and in the same division as The Fumble Faction and Sarge's Angels. Blue division included Grifballs of Steel, Hardman's Destroyers and Grifball Addicts Anomynous. JSG lost twice to The Fumble Faction but won twice against Sarge's Angels. They went on to take on Grifballs of Steel in the semi finals but were beaten but defeated Hardman's Destroyers to take 3rd place as a conciliation prize.
JSG has been in three bum rushes. The first, the Knocked-Up Bum Rush was there first. They were knocked out in game 1 by The Fumble Faction. In the Missing Link Bum Rush, Johnsons Salty Grifballs went out in game 1 again, this time by Grifballs of Steel. They then competed in the UK Advent Bum Rush, which took a 5 team league formation. They finished in 2nd, behind The Fumble Faction who won undefeated but managed to come above and defeat there over opponents, The Elite Spartans, who finished 3rd, Sarge's Angels, who finished 4th and Spaghetti and Grifballs, who came in last place.
JSG are also competing in the Gamernook League and have won there first game against Team Acronym by 6-3 and have signed up for the UK Off-Season Knock-Up Cup and are hosting the Johnson's Memorial Cup. They have signed up to the UKGBWL09 too.
So far, 13 players have been part of the Johnsons Salty Grifballs' team roster, with all but two playing at least one game for the team. Only 7 of the players remain on the team. The players who are currently signed to the team are :-
Players who have been signed onto the JSG roster but have now been removed are :-
- Lightning Eater
- NeTTOs Wookie (Subject to Change)
- Icemare13 (Moved to JSSG)
- Strangler 666 (Moved to JSSG)
YodaMagicCircus is the captain and joint creator of Johnsons Salty Grifballs. He has played in all but 3 of JSG's matches but has competed in every competition match. He was responsible for signing up lots of JSG's talent, including NeTTOs Wookie, KnuXles, pabloscamel, General456, Lighting Eater, Paranoxia and Strangler 999. He also competed in the Sarge's Memorial Cup final and led his team to victory.
TOS Macca was one of the teams co-founders, along with YodaMagicCircus. Early in the teams carrier, he was seen to be the teams best all round player, until new talent came to the team and began to improve. He is now a regular player for the team but missed out on there Sarge's Memorial Cup final match because of a broken controller.
The WOOOKKKIIIEEE! as NeTTOs Wookie calls himself was the key player for JSG in the UKGBSML08. His hosting powers helped JSG win Division 5 and they may not be a Legacy team now without his help. He is currently not on the team but may well return in the near future.
Since joining the team, Paranoxia has been a favorite through the JSG ranks. Being seen as the most fun loving player, him and the rest of the team get on well. He didn't compete in the UKGBSML08 but has competed in many scrims and in the Sarge's Memorial Cup, including the final. When playing, Paranoxia likes to scream out like a sissy girl.
Strangler 999 was signed to JSG after leaving Sarge's Angels. Strangler said he liked the friendly attitude of JSG and liked to play with them. He hasn't missed a match since joining and scored 4 in there Sarge's Memorial Cup final win. He is responsible for bringing TGK HEADTIME, Icemare13, SafeRicky and his brother Strangler 666 to the team.
JSG HEADTIME came from FC-5UK to join JSG. Headtime regularly makes it into the team and usually gets an impressive amount of kills. He was one of the players who competed in JSG's Sarge's Memorial Cup win over The Fumble Faction, who Headtime longed to beat and he even managed to score during the game.
SafeRicky came to JSG from Grifball Addicts Anomynous. Since joining the team, he has made major help in matches with impressive tanking and superb launching. He helped JSG during the UKGBAL08.
- Winners of Division 5 of the UK Grifball Summer League 2008
- Winners of the Sarge Division in the Sarge's Memorial Cup
- Winners of the first Sarge's Memorial Cup
- TOS Macca won the Golden Bomb for Division 5 of the UKGBSML08
- NeTTOs Wookie won the Golden Hammer and Golden Sword for the Division 5 of the UKGBSML08
- TGK HEADTIME won the UKGBSML08 Golden Hammer for FC-5UK, but now plays for JSG
- Strangler 999 became the SMC's Sarge Division's top scorer, getting the Golden Bomb
- YodaMagicCircus became the SMC's Sarge Division's top killer, getting the Golden Hammer
- TOS Macca became the SMC's Sarge Division's top carrier killer, getting the Golden Sword
- Strangler 999 became the SMC's top scorer, getting the Golden Bomb
- TOS Macca won the Golden Sword for Division 1 of the UKGBAL08
- TOS Macca won the Golden Sword for the entire UKGBAL08
Trivia and FactsEdit
- JSG were the only rookie teams to be moved up to the legacy division for the UKGBAL08.
- All of JSG's current players have been from the club from the start or joined from other legacy teams.
- JSG have 15 wins in the league and playoffs and only 6 losses. They have 70 goals for and 56 against.
- YodaMagicCircus has played the most games for the club, followed by Strangler 999. He has also played every competition game.
- JSG only lost once in the entire Sarge's Memorial Cup, too Sarge's Angels
- Only three teams have ever beaten JSG in the league and/or playoffs. These are Great British Grifballers in the UKGBSML08 and The Fumble Faction and Grifballs of Steel twice each in the UKGBAL08.
- The only active UK Grifball team that JSG have never beaten are Grifballs of Steel.
Johnsons Salty Grifballs Theme SongEdit
Here is the Johnsons Salty Grifballs Theme Song, written by YodaMagicCircus. It is a parody of the 'Still Alive' song that can be found on the credits of Portal, by Valve.
- Salty Sensations
- I’m having a thought here: WE’RE THE BEST
- It’s bad to overrate my team but screw it
- Salty Sensations
- We kill what we must
- because we can
- With a sword of hammer cos
- Maybe we could die instead
- But if we keep playing till the enemies break
- We may start scoring and the points are for the take
- And the scoring gets done
- Cos you make a sweet run
- For those people who are on our side
- I hope your not angry
- Win or loss the game was so great
- Even if we kicked your ass
- And bagged you
- And raped you with hammers
- And slayed you with swords, oh god, the power
- If you’d won we would not care, we’d so happy for you!
- But those points on the board make a beautiful sight
- And we’re almost breaking
- But we’re scoring on time
- So I’m glad if you won
- Cos your tactics we have learned
- for the people who are on our side
- Go ahead and leave us
- We’ll just play somebody else instead
- Maybe you’ll find someone else to play you
- Maybe Death on Call?
- THAT WAS A JOKE
- HAHA, FAT CHANCE
- Anyway, we are still great.
- Kickin ass everyday
- Look at me still gloating
- when there’s Grifball to do.
- With TOS and Yoda and the SafeRicky too
- Then there’s Strangler to run.
- And there’s Eyspy having fun
- And the people who are on our side
- And there are people who are on our side
- And other players that are on our side
- I’ll feel FANTASTIC if your on our side
- While were playing they will be on our side
- When we have won they will be on our side
- ON OUR SIDE
- ON OUR SIDE
To improve the amount of teams in the UK Grifballing circuit and to give some of the teams players who may not get many games some more action, YodaMagicCircus decided to make a second team. The name of the team is Johnsons Sweet 'n' Sour Grifballs (or JSSG)
The players for the second team are :-
- Strangler 666
- Icemare 13
- WTF ITS PIE
- D MIITH (Captain)
- Wolf C16
There is also a third team called Johnsons Tasty Grifballs. Its players are currently :-